Day 11: Something Fun
I know I'm suppose to post a photo of something fun. I don't want to. Well, to be fair, I'd love to do that. I just don't think I've got it in me. I can put on my happy face like I do other days. I can pretend life doesn't have me depressed and sad. Or I can get real for a second and just say, I lost my joy.
Somewhere along the way I stopped laughing and having fun. I stopped finding the joy in the details. The stress of every day, of feeling like the only responsible adult has paid a toll on my outlook. Honestly, I've never been what you'd call an optimist. So maybe to the world looking in, I'm much the same as I was before I started feeling this way. But I don't feel the same. At all.
I don't have any energy and I find myself quick to anger. Instead of taking a deep breath and tackling issues from a different angle, I blow my top and start yelling (at anyone in my path). I have to drag myself out of the bed in the morning. I use to laugh at something my kids said everyday, not so much these days. Don't even get me started on how my relationship with J has degraded. I feel beaten down and broken.
The complete antithesis of fun.