stopping to smell the flowers

Day 14:  FA-LOA-WAHS!

"Thinking bee, thinking bee..."

(Yes, that is an obscure movie reference up there.)

(I do this often, some might say too often.)

Anywho, I don't like taking photos of flowers.

It's hard.

Thank God for photo editing sites.

"This time, this time, this time!!!!  That's diabolical!"

"Black and yellow, HELLO!"

Okay, I'll stop now.

Insert "fall" pun here.

Day 13:  From a Distance

(at least I think it's from a distance...)

I made a fall wreath for my door.

It was suppose to be a summer wreath.

I had it all ready to go in the spring and then somehow I talked myself out of making it.

I thought it wouldn't work out right.

Then I decided to just go for it in the fall when I rediscovered the wreath wring in the gardening box.

I picked out some fall colored fabrics from the stash, and

"from a distance" it looks like this:

But here's a close up too.

And an extreme close up of the bunting.

Sometimes I do these projects and I am amazed at how thick I can be.

I laid out the bunting letters and attached them to string with hot glue on the back side.

But I neglected to think about the fact they had to be backwards because of this.

So it said EMOCLEW when I turned it over!

Uh, duh.

And just 'cause here's what it looked like before I added the bunting and before the weather got to it and make it look a little limp and deflated.

I mean, understated and fabulous.

;)

Happy Fall!

short and sweet

Day 12:  Close-up

There was a little girl who had a little curl...

fade to black...

Day 11:  Something Fun

I know I'm suppose to post a photo of something fun.  I don't want to.  Well, to be fair, I'd love to do that.  I just don't think I've got it in me.  I can put on my happy face like I do other days.  I can pretend life doesn't have me depressed and sad.  Or I can get real for a second and just say, I lost my joy.

Somewhere along the way I stopped laughing and having fun.  I stopped finding the joy in the details.  The stress of every day, of feeling like the only responsible adult has paid a toll on my outlook.  Honestly, I've never been what you'd call an optimist.  So maybe to the world looking in, I'm much the same as I was before I started feeling this way.  But I don't feel the same.  At all.

I don't have any energy and I find myself quick to anger.  Instead of taking a deep breath and tackling issues from a different angle, I blow my top and start yelling (at anyone in my path).   I have to drag myself out of the bed in the morning.  I use to laugh at something my kids said everyday, not so much these days.  Don't even get me started on how my relationship with J has degraded.  I feel beaten down and broken.

The complete antithesis of fun.

there's a wall around my heart.

Welcome to day 10:  something I made! ♥

I debated what to share.

I've made quite a few things lately... not all good, but not all bad.

I decided on my summer landscaping project.

Also known as the driveway straightening/rock wall project.

But it was also called a few other choice things...

But I digress.

Our drive was curved so we cut off part of the lawn to straighten it.

(Basically, the darker color dirt in the drive is where there use to be lawn.)

We cut out pieces sod and transferred them to an old garden bed we were looking to turn into lawn again.

Garden area, before and after laying sod.

This project was suppose to be a Jeff and I project.

He helped mark the lawn with spray paint so we knew where to cut.

And he helped sod and dig the first 6 feet or so.

The rest fell to me.

And then his mom came to visit and helped out immensely with all the digging!

God love her!

The rock wall was put together using only rocks we already had on the property.

It was a challenge.

I love puzzles though, and that's basically what it was.

(And to be fair, Jeff did help build the first 10 feet of wall and bits and pieces further on.)

I love how it came out.

There is some talk of adding (purchased) cap-stones to make it more uniform with cleaner lines.

We shall see.

And here's a glimpse of my next project:

 

New triangular garden patch.

Smiles, all around!

After I added my herbs from the veggie garden and some lavender from another garden along the house (that is going away).

I've since added mums and my blueberry bushes.

Irises tomorrow?

Mini-me(s)!

Day 9:  Faceless Self-portrait

Yes, they are feet.

But beyond how dang good looking my feet are,

there is another story here.

This is about the kind of mum I am.

The other two sets of [little people] feet belong to my two boys.

Yes, I painted their toes.

It was the first time, but not the last.

And I've even painted their fingernails too.

I don't feel the least guilty or bad about it either.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all.

And if my boys want to be like me and do the things I do, I say "have at it".

Time marches quickly and the days when we can get away with this sort of thing are limited.

Besides I want my kids to be exactly who THEY want to be.

Not what the world thinks they should.

that's right, that's the sound of crickets.

Day 8:  Technology

So, this day almost was the end of me.

I don't know.

Technology?

Really?

This is the technology I prefer...

No technology.

When the tv, internet, cell phone and all related "noises" in my life are turned off.

Don't get me wrong, 

I love all those devices for the convenience they give.

For the hours of "babysitting", 

for the hours of "me time", 

for the enjoyment of spending time together as a family watching a good movie or playing a game of mini-golf on the Wii.

It's all good.

But when those things go quiet, I tend to focus on the things and people who really matter to me.

And that feels good.

Way better than what technology gives me.

A Little Birdie Told Me...

Day 7:  something new

New?

What's that?

I have three kids and one income coming in.

We don't do "new".

But I suppose this might qualify.

This is Elvis.

We got him about a month and a half ago.

He was bigger than all the other 'keets in the cage and sat perched on the very tippy top spot.

The epitome of the "king".

So first we were calling him "the King".

Which of course, morphed into Elvis.

For 2 days he was silent.

I started to think we misnamed him!

And then he started to sing...

Yep, he's still got it.

I love this little guy and want to keep him toasty warm in the frigid Maine winter months.

Which are quickly approaching, dang it!

Sooooo, I made him this:

I didn't sleep well on night #1, worrying that the flannel backing was going to be too heavy,

and suffocate him.

Phew!

Big sigh of relief.

The big guy is A-OK!

I made it from old fabric I had laying around and recycled flannel receiving blankets.

Everything old is NEW again.

Knicker Bocker Bear

30 Day Photog Challenge

Day 6:  Childhood Memory

Meet Mr. Knicker Bocker Bear.

I ♥ him.

A lot.

It shows.

His nose is ripped and frayed.

His head has been re-attached several different times.

And very inexpertly I might add.

I still think he's the most gorgeous thing.

I was a painfully shy child.

(Sometimes I am a painfully shy adult, but I digress.)

I use to get lost all the time because I was too shy to ask for help.

I once wet my pants in the 1st grade because I was afraid to interrupt the teacher to get permission.

I cried on the school bus when someone other than my sisters sat with me.

Once I got so upset, the bus driver let me off at the jr. high, and my parents were called to come get me.

Ok, I think you get the idea.

Mr. Knicker Bocker was my best friend growing up.

He always made me feel better.

He never minded that I was a socially awkward mess.

He loved me for who I really was.

The me the big wide world rarely saw.

He's always been with me.

Even at 40 years of age, he has a special spot in my home...

and my heart.

I often pray my children don't have the same shyness I did.

That I can raise them to be braver and bolder and just plain happier that I was.

If not, I know my daughter for one has a special friend all picked out.

Meet Mr. C.T. Bear.

He's well on his way to being aggressively loved.

I ♥ him too.

Golden Oldies

30 Day Photog Challenge

Day 5 - Someone you ♥

Well, talk about a no brainer.

This is one of my favorite candid shots of my kids.

My crazy beans!

And yes, I suppose I could put a shot of J here as well.

If only I had a good shot.

Or a recent good shot.

See, the thing with J is that he's been ill the last 3 years.

The docs have been stumped.

They have settled on fibromyalgia for a diagnosis.

I still don't know if I agree with that.

But I do know that recent snaps of J reveal his misery.

He looks tired and in pain.

He rarely smiles in them and if he does it's one of those forced smiles.

Those smiles make me sad.

I use to make myself crazy trying to help him feel better.

But over time I've come to realize if he doesn't want to do the work to feel better, any efforts on my part are fruitless, hopeless, and utterly useless.

I wish he knew how much we all miss him.

But all is not lost.

Sometimes we still get a flash in the pan.

Color me happy!

30 Day Photog Challenge

Day 4:  my favorite color

It's been a long time since I've thought about what my favorite color is.

Well, maybe not that long.

I do have little children and they like to ask questions of that nature...

Maybe I just haven't had a permanent favorite color for a long time.

My tastes are changing every day, 

nowadays.

So, what is my favorite color today?

Green.

The lusher, the better.

Doesn't this green just do something to your insides?

It takes me to another place.

A calmer place.

A happier place.

I've got my head in the clouds...

30 Day Photog Challenge

Day 3:  Clouds

First, I totally forgot to take any pictures of clouds.

So I had to go do it today.

In a rush.

Accepting whatever random cloud happened to be floating up there.

\

It was quite a shock to realize how much I love taking pictures of clouds!

♥♥♥

I am not a landscape photographer.

I take after my mum, I like pictures of people.

Or animals.

While I can appreciate a great picture of a pile of rocks,

I am not motivated to take pictures of them myself.

Or to invest the time to get GOOD at taking said pictures.

But I couldn't just pick one snap for this day.

Now wasn't that fun?

If I go missing for hours at a time...

I may be out taking cloud pictures.

:)

Who is that fat woman?!?

30 Day Photog Challenge

Day 2:  What I Wore

Okay.

Holy God.

This was hard!

I don't know how you blogger chicks do this weekly.

We had Pre-K orientation at the primary school for my middle child.

We rode the bus and met his teacher and checked out the classroom and met some of his new friends.

It was fun.

He had a blast.

Then it came time to take my photos.

How the hell does one take a full length picture of oneself?

I tried several methods.

Finally landed on the self timer.

And, of course, the beans had to be in the shot too.

:)

But I must tell you this brings up all my reverse body dismorphic quirks.

(I know, there's probably no such thing.)

But I tell you, I get dressed and look in the mirror, and I think I look pretty good.

Then someone (and yes, this time that someone was me) takes a picture of me.

And I am left scratching my head...

Who is that fat woman wearing my clothes??

I swear, when I looked in the mirror, I didn't see her.

I can't be the only one who is weird like this.

Can I?

Self Portrait

30 Day Photography Challenge

Day 1:  Self-portrait

So this is a picture I took of myself a few weeks ago.

I chose it because it shows where I am in my life at the moment.

I just turned 40 this year.

(gulp)

My SIL brought these feathers to a family reunion...

For the "teenage" girls.

Her exact words as she was busy giggling.

My response?

"Leave me alone.  I'm having my mid-life crisis!"

So I may not be young anymore.

I may not look as cute in feathers as the kids do.

I may have left my cool days far behind me.

It doesn't matter,

I still feel like I'm young and cute and cool.

;)

30 Day Photography Challenge

I saw this challenge over here.

 I think I'm going to give it a go.  I really do enjoy taking pictures (not that I'm very good at it, but I still enjoy it!).  Plus I'm not doing so well on making regular posts on my blog.   Not that I'm losing sleep over that, but that's a whole other story.

Ready, set, go!!